tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-320799032012-02-09T03:04:07.533-05:00My life as a single, Jewish mental health professional who suffers from bipolar disorder and a keen sense of ironyAyelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.comBlogger12081100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-58408904026530126652012-02-09T03:04:00.000-05:002012-02-09T03:04:07.543-05:00

So I was transferred to another clinic, which is located in a very remote part of Brooklyn. The commute is horrible, but the clinic manager is fair and sane, all the other employees are lovely, and the heroin users are just as awesome as at the other clinic. I was sad that I had to stop volunteering as a detox acupuncturist Monday afternoons, at the needle exchange that's close to the other

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-29798326460501259752012-02-04T19:13:00.001-05:002012-02-04T19:13:21.392-05:00

Last Tuesday, I decided to make roasted Brussels sprouts. While sprinkling salt over them, I noticed the salt container's bottom was swollen; it must have gotten wet. Unfortunately, I noticed this milliseconds before the bottom dropped off the container, dumping salt all over the olive-oiled sprouts. I rinsed them off and roasted them, but they were still excessively salty. Wednesday morning I

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-4142818532333176662012-01-31T18:47:00.002-05:002012-01-31T18:47:43.579-05:00

Jersey Jake finally got back to me today: So sorry its been a while since Ive followed up. I had to rush to queens to help a friend that slipped on a train platform in philly & broke his arm by the elbow. Very painfiul + therapy. Out of sight is not out of mind though. Howve you been? I spoke to my friend Rochel, the dating coach, and she was as outraged as I was. Seriously, Jake? You take

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-13704866246465217242012-01-22T18:10:00.000-05:002012-01-22T18:10:18.560-05:00

I know, it's been forever. Work has been very complicated, and I haven't wanted to blog about it, or anything else. I'm still debating whether to blog about a nice but decidedly odd man I went out with twice. But I wanted to update you on Jersey Jake. Out of nowhere, apropos of nothing, JJ emailed me on 1/18/12: Hi! I hope you are well. I should have followed up with you & sent this ages ago.

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-39670764798155512062012-01-04T17:08:00.002-05:002012-01-04T17:08:56.568-05:00

I'm getting too much attention on SuperTova from gross old men. First was a 59-year-old, who wrote me: i am better then nothing try who knows No, you're not better than nothing. I politely responded no thank you hoping he would leave well enough alone. But of course he didn't. to bad for you not interested anymore bye I recognize that's a pathetic inability to cope with reality. But I

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-66826673185588955652012-01-03T15:35:00.002-05:002012-01-03T15:35:34.903-05:00

Yesterday I had off from work but went to Chinatown anyway to the new rehab/pain management practice I've been trying. They offer a combination of physical therapy, acupuncture, and massage. I got massage, ultrasound, stretching, and acupuncture. Today I got PAIN. So I'm home from work, taking ibuprofin, rubbing in liniment, and stretching. Fortunately I didn't have anything major scheduled at

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-55669401987191807672011-12-21T18:06:00.004-05:002011-12-21T18:06:34.206-05:00

Jersey Jake and I belong to a few of the same Facebook groups, and he's been "liking" or responding to my comments and posts. Fine, whatever, it's a free country. But then I looked at my subscribers list (I have 8), and noticed that he's subscribed to me. Even worse, he has 115 subscribers. I guess I feel a little competitive. But why is he subscribed to me when he didn't bother to ask me out? I

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-29378867924470271462011-12-20T19:46:00.007-05:002011-12-20T19:46:59.400-05:00

Friend of mine sent me a Skype IM (I'm tired of coming up with pseudonyms, so I'll just call her Friend of Ayelet or FOA): Friend of Ayelet: remind me, are u open to a shidduch in NY? Of course I am, I live in NY. FOA: and are u stil open to having kids? or not? Ayelet: I would love to try if I can FOA: I know a REALLY nice guy in NY, never married, NOT abnormal. A: what's his name?

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-42263038187553581982011-12-20T18:13:00.004-05:002011-12-20T18:13:45.654-05:00

I saw my acupuncturist friend Spike for several months in 2009. Even after I stopped going to him for treatment, we kept in touch on Facebook. Usually he would IM me and we would chat. I wasn't always in the mood and sometimes wished he wouldn't IM me so often. Then I started dating Ivan the Terrible, and at some point Spike stopped IMing me. Lately I've been wondering how he's doing, especially

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-56827810328169400482011-12-08T16:42:00.001-05:002011-12-08T16:44:19.940-05:00

EG and I met for coffee last night. Actually, he had an egg nog latte, I had juice. And we talked. And... I'm not going to blog about it. Partly because I'm still enervated from the bronchitis, but also because I don't feel like having this relationship go through referendum after referendum via comments on here and on Facebook. Basically, I'll let you know the major milestones, but the specifics

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-47385341266020032372011-12-07T10:23:00.001-05:002011-12-07T13:17:15.280-05:00

I'm getting over bronchitis, which I know from past experience is a matter of waiting until I feel better. Today I feel much better than yesterday, and tomorrow I'm going back to work no matter what. Waiting is what I'm supposed to employ regarding EG as well. That is, according to The Rules. I should let him know I'm available and wait for him to pursue me. But my horoscope has been saying the

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-5602410844284621812011-12-03T18:56:00.001-05:002011-12-03T19:08:19.534-05:00

I know I said I'd stop trying to pique EG's interest. But a horoscope I got on Thursday convinced me I needed to take another shot: If you want to win someone's heart, your ability to communicate and hold an interesting conversation will work to your advantage. Use your irresistible charm to magnetically draw the person of your dreams right to your heart. Stay alert so you don't miss subtle

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-35348783572890760542011-12-02T03:13:00.001-05:002011-12-02T03:49:59.492-05:00

Terminal insomnia has struck again. I thought I wouldn't get it this year because I haven't been using the light box. Every year after I switch on the light box, my terminal insomnia comes roaring back like Jews who've spotted a Viennese table. So I assumed the light box was causing the insomnia. But this year, I'm relatively happy. I'm not in a toxic job environment and grieving the loss of an

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-62555396936788113152011-12-01T17:59:00.001-05:002011-12-01T18:04:03.489-05:00

I still haven't decided whether to rejoin Jwed, and this guy, who visited my profile today, isn't swaying me toward re-upping. Age: 45 Location: New York, New York Build: 5'8" average Marital Status: Single (never married) Children: None Education: Masters Degree Occupation: Educational Administrator Politics: Conservative Smoke: No Affiliation: Shomer Mitzvot

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-69044267105034268482011-11-30T16:36:00.001-05:002011-11-30T16:49:59.423-05:00

No, EG didn't ask me out. But I'm tired of crushing on him. How do you get over a crush? Well, in this day and age, you Google "how to get over a crush." I read several articles, and my favorite tip was to set aside time to think about the crush, and not think about him at any other time. I like this tip because it's a behavioral intervention. As a clinical social worker, I impose interventions

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-47220795136333892712011-11-27T18:53:00.001-05:002011-11-27T19:00:49.921-05:00

Went to the gym at 9:30am today for my fitness evaluation. Learned how to maximize my exertion and caloric burn while minimizing knee strain; also picked up some good stretches. Came home, colored my hair (STILL can't get those stubborn grays 100% covered; I should probably go back to the salon in 2 weeks) and showered. Was about to iron my hair when I decided to see if I had any voicemails. (

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-69633147844873124362011-11-27T13:05:00.001-05:002011-11-27T13:09:57.961-05:00

The Silver Fox and I spoke on Thanksgiving; we're having coffee today. I just colored my hair and showered, and I need to dry and iron the hair, but I wanted to ask a question: should I meet Long Island Guy (LIG)? I'm not impressed by his profile, largely because it's fairly ungrammatical. About me: Hello Every one. First I would say, Thanks for viewing my profile. I am very funny, romantic, I

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-8695103854082179542011-11-23T22:27:00.001-05:002011-11-23T22:36:47.397-05:00

I am feeling my feelings very intensely these days. The funny is hilarious; the interesting is mezmerizing; and I'm so enthused about everything that I want to tell everyone about it. I feel almost hypomanic, except I'm mindful of it and more or less in control of my behavior. But I can readily imagine the out-of-control things I could easily do or say, so I feel a little off balance. It's odd,

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-29377935035854650432011-11-22T05:18:00.001-05:002011-11-22T05:46:59.585-05:00

I woke up today at 4 a.m. with knee pain. I used to think that my terminal insomnia was a function of light box usage, but since I haven't been using it this year, I'm wondering if it's just a function of the time change. It's annoying, because I get tired during the day. I also woke up with knee pain, which is even more annoying. I've been trying to take it easy at the gym, but apparently not

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-73132572356500356742011-11-20T08:02:00.001-05:002011-11-20T08:12:03.749-05:00

Friday night I went to the Jewish Center's annual Rotating Tables singles event. Basically, you have your appetizers at one table, soup at another, and main course at another, so you get to meet a number of different people. There were only five men I'd dated at the event, which was a nice low number, although of course one of them was at my first table and another at my third. Fortunately, the

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-73280223477430368272011-11-16T19:39:00.001-05:002011-11-16T19:48:39.944-05:00

I haven't heard anything from EG since he responded "hey good morning" on 11/11/11 to my IM "hey" dated 11/10/11. Even though I see him on FB all the time. Wasn't sure if he still wanted me to come over and play with his kids. So I sent him another message today: Hey... do you still want me to come over Shabbos afternoon for Twister? He didn't respond immediately. In fact, he still hasn't

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-6493869442917483602011-11-14T19:39:00.001-05:002011-11-14T20:25:28.425-05:00

I spent last Shabbos in Brooklyn for a singles weekend. It was interesting. No attractive men, of course, there never are, but I only saw about 5 men I'd gone out with, which isn't bad. And no recent word from EG, except another email on 11/7/11: Had a great time Saturday. The boys want to keep the haunted house up for another few weeks so other people could visit them in it. they said. And

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-17061425540068248232011-11-06T09:09:00.002-05:002011-11-06T09:09:44.537-05:00

EG called me Friday afternoon to wish me a good Shabbos and confirm that I was coming over. "So what time do you think you'll be there?" he asked. "About 2:30?" He sounded pretty eager. I thought that was a promising sign. "Probably closer to 3," I said. "I could try for 2:45." Which is the time we settled on. "I really want to thank you again for offering to hang out," EG said. "Happy to,"

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-52182294950530178362011-11-03T17:52:00.000-04:002011-11-03T17:52:42.729-04:00

I haven't been feeling well all week. Slightly feverish, slightly sore throat, headachy, muscle achy, and peeing roughly once an hour. I'm prone to recurrent UTIs. Not sick enough to stay home, but too sick to go work out at the gym. Which has me slightly suspicious that it's mainly hypochondria, but I don't want to go to the doctor until my health insurance benefits start on November 15. I can

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-5759540061082813762011-10-29T18:41:00.004-04:002011-10-29T18:42:01.881-04:00

Not much in the way of news. Work continues to go extremely well. I learned that I am a member of the senior administration at the clinic. That made me happy, but a little nervous, since I am now charged with helping the clinic demonstrate enough concrete improvement to pass our next audit. We have 8 weeks. Preparing for audit will involve more meetings with the other senior staff and more

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-91603783383550553292011-10-23T15:18:00.003-04:002011-10-23T17:03:00.753-04:00

My good friend Gloria Chang sent me an email after I posted about my aunt asking me to just forgive my mother and my sister already. My experience has been that quite often the phrase "You should forgive" could just as well be replaced by the phrase "I don't particularly want to engage with your pain." People don't like seeing others in conflict, particularly when their own behavior may be

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-78077577121872824562011-10-23T10:45:00.002-04:002011-10-23T10:45:38.603-04:00

I didn't celebrate Simchat Torah this year. I stayed in my apartment. I just couldn't face the crowds and the inevitable memories of disappointments from past years. I couldn't do it. I woke up this morning to an email from my aunt: Dear Ayelet,  Now that the holidays are over and we prayed to forgive and be forgiven by people and God and now that you have a job that you love - I ask you

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-20475923140513287722011-10-18T19:32:00.001-04:002011-10-18T19:32:48.173-04:00

I've had the best of intentions to blog about Succot in Crown Heights. Because it was truly amazing. But either I'm coming down with a change-of-seasons cold or partying in Brooklyn for three days really takes it out of me, because I've been absolutely exhausted since I got home Saturday night. I had RSVP'd for a social work professional association event on Sunday, and then I canceled because I

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-37463054635397428402011-10-10T16:49:00.002-04:002011-10-10T16:49:37.442-04:00

I wanted to be anywhere but the upper west side for Simchat Torah this. It's more than "been there, done that." It's "been there, yet haven't completely lost hope so every year I continue to be devastated by the fact that I don't meet someone." And the Kallah was lovely enough to give me the choice of going to her for first or last days. My friend Philo had a suggestion: My advice is to go to

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-53259749041533149482011-10-09T16:46:00.001-04:002011-10-09T16:46:19.837-04:00

I hate begging for Shabbat and holiday meals. When I lived in a bigger apartment, and for a while in my teeny apartment, I took pride in inviting and feeding guests. But I haven't been up to doing that in a very long time, unless you count the few times Ivan the Terrible and I entertained. These 3-day holidays are killer. If I'm not invited out, I sit at home alone. And that's no good. So today

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-74924566119452025522011-10-08T19:42:00.003-04:002011-10-08T19:42:48.360-04:00

What's the second thing you do after Yom Kippur ends? Go on Facebook. And I saw a number of very disturbing entries on my right-hand ticker. SOD was exchanging nasty, graphic, scatological insults with a number of people who seemed to be Muslim. It was truly disgusting, and made me realize that there is nothing about SOD I would ever want to get to know better. So I unfriended and blocked him.

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-75287259125986494932011-10-06T17:31:00.003-04:002011-10-06T17:31:59.184-04:00

I threw down a conversational gauntlet before SOD, saying I'd rather talk on the phone than IM. SOD waited about an hour, then messaged me his phone number: SOD: 718 555-6832, if u want to chat later  A: what time is good?  SOD: 9 pm  A: sorry, that's too late for me -- I get up at 5:30 am to be at work at 6:45 am, I start getting ready for bed at 9; can we talk on Sunday?  SOD: wonderful,

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-26839560160869684732011-10-06T17:14:00.001-04:002011-10-06T17:14:08.759-04:00

So I was feeling curious and unsettled about SOD. I sent him a message and we started chatting: A: gmar chatima tova, hope you have an easy fast SOD: Toda. You too, pale skin beauty..... A: thanks SOD: you're a doll.... A: and you are very mysterious, like a phantom SOD: why? lol Isn't it obvious? I've said this before. I'm addressing it again in a playful manner. But apparently

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-87046936272043075862011-10-05T18:12:00.000-04:002011-10-05T18:12:07.602-04:00

On Monday, I got a very random Facebook email from a complete stranger who doesn't have a profile photo: same age for men and women is better......lol Probably all my blog readers, and certainly all my Facebook friends know that I am militantly in favor of dating and marrying someone close to my age. When I was invited to a singles event that advertised "men 25-45, women 23-38," I not only

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-59200479873548768492011-10-02T19:03:00.000-04:002011-10-02T20:04:48.510-04:00

An attractive man some years my junior visited my OKCupid profile several times. His description seemed promising: Hello, my name is Benevolence. I was born in Moscow and immigrated to the US at the age of 8. I have not yet returned to my homeland, but I do intend to visit one day. Currently I hold a B.S. in Computer Science. Presently I work as a computer consultant. I wish to find the person

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-43883920437660492882011-10-02T08:26:00.002-04:002011-10-02T08:26:53.952-04:00

One of my Facebook friends on my "real" Ayelet profile is a guy I haven't always been so nice to. Let's call him Happy Dad, since he's now married with beautiful children and seems reasonably content. Back in 1993 I was set up with him. I did not find him attractive or interesting. So I kind of rushed out of the date. We went to a kosher Chinese restaurant near Columbus Circle, and although he

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-73342826785561915892011-10-01T22:01:00.000-04:002011-10-01T22:37:33.109-04:00

Right before Rosh Hashana, a friend of mine had a birthday. I could have just wished him happy birthday on Facebook (which is how I knew it was his birthday), but instead I decided to send him a picture of my breasts. I took the picture back in 2009, while I was trying to entice Ivan the Terrible into being my friend with benefits. Before that revelatory night that led to a wasted 11 months of

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-32855497495101031642011-10-01T19:46:00.000-04:002011-10-01T21:07:00.696-04:00

This Rosh Hashana I didn't sit at home alone for three straight days. I got out on two of the days and had lunch with Alona and her family. Baby Baruch is now 3. He and Batya get me. "I just had a green Laffy Taffy," Batya informed me as I arrived on the second day. "Yum!" I said. "That's like my second favorite flavor. I like green and purple." "I thought yellow was your favorite," said Batya

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-25006471264495157702011-09-27T18:42:00.000-04:002011-09-27T18:42:25.599-04:00

Work today was very busy. I don't know why I ever thought that the patients at my last job -- mostly on parole from state prison -- would be inherently more interesting than the patients at my current job. I don't think it's a confidentiality violation to say that today one of our patients came to get medicated without any pants on. Heroin users are fascinating. So I was busy and happy all day.

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-27518974257896891772011-09-25T09:20:00.000-04:002011-09-25T09:20:13.722-04:00

This year the Days of Awe hit in 3-day cluster bombs. That means 6 meals per holiday that I have to scramble for invitations. I just can't do it. Alona invited me for second day lunch on Rosh Hashana. Just her, her husband and children. I don't have to pretend to be "normal" or happy. I can just be myself. But I can't do that in front of strangers. If I look tired or sad, they'll want to know

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-86561701420672831992011-09-24T19:45:00.000-04:002011-09-24T19:46:47.679-04:00

A dear friend (former social work school professor) named Katherine Gordy Levine, who blogs at http://emotionalfitnesstraining.com,  asked if she could nominate me for a blog award, if my readership was under 200. Well, I've had numerous visitors in the past, but I don't think more than 200 people read my blog on a weekly basis, so I accepted. It's called the "Liebster Blog" award. The goal

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-48329822238590726872011-09-22T18:49:00.002-04:002011-09-22T18:49:59.820-04:00

I've been blogging less and less lately. Initially I thought it was because I was just too damn tired from getting up at 5:30am and not being able to fall asleep by 10pm. But I think that I say a lot of what I have to say on Facebook, since, after all, I have two identities to write for and I get a ton of feedback, which is mostly useful. But I can't write as extensively on FB as I can on here,

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-45903401755441580722011-09-17T20:44:00.000-04:002011-09-17T20:45:30.895-04:00

The Education Committee of the Metropolitan Chapter of the NYSSCSW presents: The Role of Forgiveness in the Working Through of Traumatic Events – A Dialogue  Through intensive therapeutic work, opportunities to transcend traumatic events and achieve post-traumatic mastery are possible for people. This workshop will discuss components of post-traumatic growth as conceptualized by Richard

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-56415910578846877922011-09-15T16:09:00.002-04:002011-09-15T17:11:52.084-04:00

I know I haven't been writing much lately. In part because there is no dating activity to report, in part because work is going well and I'm more or less happy. My co-workers geniunely seem to like and respect me, there's no harassment or accusations of unethical behavior. I had my first counselor-development-let's-not-call-it-clinical-supervision-but-that's-really-what-it-is meeting, and it went

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-87347903619402864122011-09-07T19:55:00.002-04:002011-09-07T19:55:23.448-04:00

"Job" meaning my previous job. I'm terrified of screwing up at this new job, and that makes me anxious. Which makes me ask the clinic manager (CM) a million questions, because I'm kind of scared to do anything without her explicit approval. Which kind of annoys her, I think. Which makes me more anxious. It's a vicious circle. Today was very busy. We had simultaneous crises to handle -- two

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-26104661148410046012011-09-05T19:16:00.002-04:002011-09-05T19:16:52.736-04:00

I joined a Facebook group called "Nu, Let's Set 'Em Up!" Its purpose is to facilitate setting up single people. So far, I haven't gotten any dates from it. I've been introduced to one man, and it's not going anywhere. This is the profile his niece posted: 42 y/o Trekkie UWS Paramedic Male seeks Ballabusta  My uncle, age 42, never married, is the youngest of 4 sisters and 1 brother. Both

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-53812112960774672492011-08-26T16:00:00.000-04:002011-08-26T20:32:34.171-04:00

Today as I raced home from work and worried about how I'd stock up for the hurricane in case all the supermarkets were picked clean, I fantasized that Ivan the Terrible would call me with concerns for my safety. I thought about what I'd say to him if he did. And I decided to engage in the therapeutic exercise of  writing him a letter I won't send, in hopes that it would purge me of some of my

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-88697658016823544842011-08-23T18:03:00.002-04:002011-08-23T18:04:20.694-04:00

Yesterday was agency-wide orientation for all new employees. All day. ALL DAY. My clinic program is part of a major NYC hospital, so we learned about a lot of stuff that's not too relevant to my job (don't use a floor polisher near the MRI, or it will get sucked right in), and some stuff that is relevant: don't even think about back-dating your documentation, because that will get you fired. (At

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-91764598232676668992011-08-22T20:37:00.001-04:002011-08-24T20:45:11.901-04:00

When Jacob and I were making plans to meet, he tried to convince me to meet during the week. But I'm still too drained after starting my day at 6:45 a.m. Somewhat reluctantly, he agreed to meet me on a Sunday. "I'll take the train in from Jersey and take a subway from Penn Station," he said. Fine. Whatever. I took some care with my appearance, even though I wore a t-shirt and casual skirt.

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-81989485194777035342011-08-17T21:25:00.004-04:002011-08-17T21:25:42.669-04:00

Starting work at 6:45 am is a HUGE adjustment. On top of starting a new job, which is always exhausting -- more so in this case because I have a two-week orientation period, and I spend every day at a different location before finally starting at "my" clinic. I've been hearing a lot about "my" clinic. Apparently it's going to be a very challenging task, requiring much finesse and skillful people

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-45611855290376240922011-08-14T07:07:00.002-04:002011-08-14T07:08:27.871-04:00

Liora asked me that last night. "You're beautiful, sexy, and smart!" she added. We were celebrating her birthday at a nice but loud Upper East Side bar. The music was awesome, and thanks to "Glee" I recognized most of it. Liora looked adorable, and she was so sweet to compliment me like that. But I didn't have a good answer for her. Before I went to the party I sent out some positive energy to

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-25101563648044354482011-08-12T12:49:00.000-04:002011-08-12T12:49:29.914-04:00

This morning I went to have my TB test read and from there went to the HR department. Where I found out that neither of my references -- both of whom volunteered to provide me a recommendation when I lost my job -- had emailed in a letter of recommendation. So I'm kind of freaking out. I asked them both more than a week ago, and neither even told me they weren't going to bother. I should have

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-3492595924051392372011-08-11T11:50:00.001-04:002011-08-11T11:50:08.475-04:00

If you know me at all, you know I can never leave well enough alone. I was resolved to do NOTHING about yesterday's fairly random message suggesting I get to know an email. That resolution lasted about as long as the plan I made on New Year's Eve to lose a lot of weight. But I didn't want to be too pushy or obvious. So I just hit "reply all" and typed: thanks so much for thinking of me, [friend

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-13288484801775464242011-08-10T15:48:00.003-04:002011-08-10T15:49:51.195-04:00

Today I went for my second TB test, which killed about 1.5 hours. I left a message with one of my references to ask if she'd had a chance to email in a recommendation, which she needs to do before Friday. And I got this email, from someone I only know through Facebook: Hey guys; just looked up your emails and thought you might be looking for the same thing... start up a convo... exchange info-

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-59886636313050786112011-08-09T21:27:00.001-04:002011-08-09T21:28:02.635-04:00

Tisha b'Av was rainy and cool this year. I didn't fast completely, but I ate a whole lot less than I wanted to. You would think that a woman who needs to lose a good 20 pounds wouldn't even notice skipping a few meals, but I was wiped out all day.  Then I got an email from Sylvia the Shadchanit: Subject: You are NOT forgotten!!!!  I have NOT forgotten you. It has been hectic for me in

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-43363894754104392732011-08-07T21:40:00.000-04:002011-08-07T21:40:10.834-04:00

Last night I didn't show up for plans I made with a friend. Actually, she had posted that she and a friend were going to a comedy show, and then I asked to be included, and then I didn't show up. She called me, worried, and I said I'd fallen asleep and woken up too late to go. So today I sent her a brief apology: I'm sorry I missed the evening. I should have called you when I woke up. I'm so

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-60798698311434033752011-08-06T20:55:00.001-04:002011-08-06T20:55:17.657-04:00

I had such ambitious plans. Lunchtime potluck in the park. Late afternoon games and snacks at a friend's apartment. A comedy performance tonight. But after lunch, I went home and couldn't leave. The potluck was lovely, very low-key. My good friend ET was there, and reassured me that I'm still incredibly hot. "Do I look like I've gained weight?" I asked. ET is very literal. "Stand up," he said.

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-13906497497997928012011-08-05T14:09:00.004-04:002011-08-05T14:14:05.146-04:00

Hi Ayelet,So glad to read from you once more,I guess with little time we would learn more about each other.Good to know that you are a Social Worker.So what do you do?Today I went to get some materials I would be needing for my presentation.I need to submit with the power point by Monday.For an up coming Project Awards.I work with the Layton Construction company as a Freelance Engineer.I also

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-37735601500873629042011-08-04T15:56:00.001-04:002011-08-04T21:40:55.837-04:00

Remember the matchmaker who curbsided me and tried to set me up with a stalker dentist? I saw him join a Facebook group recently and decided to email him, since we hadn't communicated in two years: I never heard from you regarding any potential matches. Looking at that now, it does seem a little abrupt. He responded: Hi. I actually make a marriage via (kiruv center) about six months ago. I

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-60831204513990882112011-08-04T15:26:00.001-04:002011-08-04T21:38:28.482-04:00

On Tuesday, when I still hadn't heard back from the Job Accommodation Network, I called their hotline for guidance. I finally got an email response today: Hi Aeylet, Thank you for contacting the Job Accommodation Network (JAN). JAN provides technical assistance on job accommodations, the employment provisions of the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA), and entrepreneurship for people with

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-64631102509574238512011-08-04T09:02:00.002-04:002011-08-04T21:42:49.246-04:00

I'm in several singles groups on Facebook. Rarely do I hear anything from the men in these groups. And when I do, it's usually not from a man I'd consider interesting. 8/2/11: Hi Ayelet I guess you must be having a wonderful start of the new month. I found your page on Frum Matchmaker. I really wish we get to be friends or maybe know each other more better. Looking forward to read from you

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-38967779625189299872011-07-31T19:24:00.001-04:002011-07-31T19:24:22.556-04:00

Friends have been advising me to say nothing about my bipolar disorder and recent hospitalization at my employment physical. But that amounts to lying by omission, which I'm not comfortable with. Fortunately, searching online for answers to my questions, I found JAN, the Job Accommodation Network. "JAN provides free, confidential technical assistance about job accommodations and the Americans

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-23307143588862158282011-07-30T21:21:00.001-04:002011-07-30T22:05:58.391-04:00

Yesterday (Friday) I was waiting to hear about 3 jobs. Two had led to follow-up HR interviews, and the other just sounded very promising. Two were offering fairly paltry compensation, one an excellent salary and staggering benefits (union position). The paltry agencies didn't contact me -- I wasn't too surprised; I wanted a good chunk more than they were planning to offer -- but the HR rep from

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-28824305518493612052011-07-24T15:11:00.000-04:002011-07-24T15:11:02.424-04:00

I really hate Facebook's friend suggestions. If they're people I know, they're usually people I don't like. But usually the suggestions don't lead to anything. Today was an exception. I got an email -- not a friend request -- from someone I'll call Kahanist. (On his profile, that's the only "activity" that shows: the Kahane fan page. Slightly disturbing. Also no photo.) pls add me On my

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-50246325662283526712011-07-23T21:33:00.004-04:002011-07-23T21:33:32.211-04:00

I heard back from Sylvia the shadchanit: Shavuah tov. I have not forgotten you, my dear! It's been rather hectic for me in Israel; I am here for 6 months to help my daughter out with her new baby. By the time I sit down at the computer it is usually 1 am and I am exhausted. I still have you in mind for Netanel. He has been busy but he is free now and I will certainly, bl'i neder, talk to him

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-42513383009720606762011-07-22T16:22:00.003-04:002011-07-22T16:22:58.327-04:00

When last we saw our heroine, she asked the Cute Blondie to have her in mind as he enjoyed his single-malt in Great Neck. He responded: you got it The man who warned CB off chulent weighed in: where is the erev shaboss kiddush club? So I piled on: where's the motz'ash kiddush club? "Motz'ash" being the cool abbreviation for "motzei Shabbos" or "after Shabbos." CB got annoyed: you

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-51393374978033711362011-07-22T11:20:00.006-04:002011-07-24T16:32:29.441-04:00

Well, I canceled one of my Bronx interviews. I realized that taking the 2 for 15 minutes, getting out and walking five minutes to the 4 to ride 10 minutes, and then walking 15 minutes to the interview site was a dreadful commute. Especially in the heat we've been having this week. I went on the other interview, which I thought was for the position of substance abuse specialist on an ACT team like

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-7188955733697691152011-07-18T15:54:00.004-04:002011-07-24T16:29:36.747-04:00

Someone need to tell the universe that I don't want to attract the wrong job or the wrong man. On Saturday I shlepped a ton of watermelon to a potluck picnic (it was on sale for 69¢/lb, so it was the cheapest thing to bring, albeit not the lightest) organized by my friend Ozer. One of the other attendees was a plump, balding, vaguely effeminate man who toed the line between friendly and a little

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-30761268824344331682011-07-15T15:00:00.004-04:002011-07-15T15:00:43.435-04:00

Last night I had a very common anxiety dream -- minus the anxiety. I dreamed I was in college, it was almost the end of the term, and I was behind in all my classes. Hundreds of pages behind in English and History; waking up too late to get to class; trying to do five mini-reports on fruit, using forms that had to be signed by Deepak Chopra. I messed up the forms, so I got some blank ones and

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-24568975000986645822011-07-12T11:50:00.003-04:002011-07-12T11:50:43.044-04:00

Yesterday I had a second interview for the site director job. They like me -- they really, really like me, and I'm really, really not sure I can handle it. I would have to negotiate disagreements between staff and intervene with very difficult clients that the case managers can't handle. It would be a long time before I got to do actual therapy, because I'd have to get up to speed on running the

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-45495109326628626372011-07-07T18:36:00.001-04:002011-07-14T16:08:12.318-04:00

Yehudis emailed me: Let me know what happens. I sent it to the HR Director, the clinic director and the Associate Director (who is the clinic director's 2 level up boss). I don't know the Clinical director himself. I haven't met him yet. He could be replacing someone who just moved to (our headquarters where I am located) with a promotion so our paths have not crossed just yet. Are positions

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-71215704609936838392011-07-07T15:19:00.004-04:002011-07-07T15:19:41.888-04:00

Maybe there's something to this law of attraction. Today my friend Rina emailed me a job posted on the New York Nonprofit News website. I wasn't sure it was right for me, but I sent in my resume, then browsed the other listings. And saw a really great opportunity at an agency... whose General Counsel and Secretary, Yehudis, happens to be a friend of mine. Not an extremely close friend, but still

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-84254850098563646502011-07-06T18:34:00.002-04:002011-07-06T18:34:40.719-04:00

Last week I had my annual physical. Nothing remarkable aside from elevated triglycerides, which could have been because I forgot not to eat before the appointment. In my defense, it was at 1:15 p.m. But I discussed my old knees injury and recent elbow injury and my doctor (the partner of Dr. Cool; I guess I'll call her Dr. Very Cool) thought there could be a simple explanation of the knee pain

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-67899643001015730532011-07-04T22:40:00.001-04:002011-07-04T22:40:38.774-04:00

Still no response from GG. But I did get an email on SuperTova: Hi Ayelet, Happy July 4th! You definitely get an A for creativity and brevity. You wrote a fascinating yet concise picture describing who you are and what you value. You make my life very easy. My name is Yossi and I am an expert stick figure artist. Actually not, but how great would it be to make a living drawing stick

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-61374166987460418552011-07-03T17:58:00.002-04:002011-07-03T17:58:36.521-04:00

I got an email yesterday, from someone I'm pretty sure I've never met, and I really don't know how to respond to it. Shalom Ayelet I'm sorry you think, I suck. Thanks for the vote of confidence. The Jewish females never did like as much as the ladies of Italy and Puerto Rico. I had Italian females since I five years old, I think they suck, there bad tempered and pushy, and can keep up

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-41673634274097343002011-07-01T14:07:00.001-04:002011-07-01T14:07:33.540-04:00

I had a dream last week about the Gorgeous Genius. We were together, and I was happy. So I woke up thinking about him. Back in October 2010, I was unable to be... intimate with him. It was too soon after I lost Ivan the Terrible. But maybe now I'd be able to. And maybe he's more stable than I gave him credit for; I never really inquired, I just made assumptions. So last Sunday I sent him an email

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-81646108615509118112011-06-28T17:41:00.000-04:002011-06-28T17:41:14.705-04:00

Sometimes it feels that way. But I'm getting close to a conclusion, I think. I went for a follow-up interview at the program I'd rather take a job at (as opposed to the one that offered me a job), and I believe it went well. And today I underwent an exhilarating group interview with another candidate. We were both interviewing for Site Director positions at different branches of yet another human

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-33954870182084823502011-06-16T21:48:00.025-04:002011-06-16T21:57:07.748-04:00

I've never had a prostate exam, because I lack a prostate, but my date tonight apparently has one and thought it would be appropriate to tell me about his first prostate exam -- at the hands of an unfortunately large-fingered physician. My expression must have registered somewhere between appalled and horrified, because he eventually stopped regaling me. I'm not saying he's a bad guy. He seems

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-29524676568079543832011-06-14T16:51:00.046-04:002011-06-14T17:05:39.350-04:00

On Sunday I went to my new job for half a day, getting a sense of my responsibilities and how the residence runs. I learned that I won't have an individual caseload -- I'll be supervising mental health technicians who do the direct work with clients. Kind of a letdown -- I won't grow as a therapist if I don't give therapy. But I'd still be getting LCSW supervision, so maybe I'd have other options

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-8171611905930686022011-06-07T15:30:00.015-04:002011-06-07T15:36:20.367-04:00

I went on a job interview today, for a supervisory position in a transitional shelter for dually diagnosed formerly homeless men and women. And wowed them. They hired me, without even checking my references. It's not as great as you might think. While the commute is quite bearable, the schedule is Sunday-Thursday. Not that I ever do anything on Sunday anyway. There's a long probation period

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-75508682632868857912011-06-03T15:59:00.008-04:002011-06-03T18:57:57.607-04:00

Dr. Jones has been a reader of mine in the past, so I shouldn't be surprised that he wanted me to include the whole correspondence, so that his side of the story could be told in full: So, let me just make sure I understand you correctly; my FB friend does something rude, so you unfriend me? You know, I really shouldn't care about stupid things like this, but things like this bother me on

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-36381848869186496742011-06-02T15:52:00.009-04:002011-06-02T15:57:40.464-04:00

Last week I got a Facebook email from a complete stranger: Hi there, I am work with Dr. Jones and i am trying to win a wig. For religious reasons i need to cover my hair and wigs are pricey. There is a contest going on where I have a chance to win one and I am asking if you can help me out All you need to do is: 1:click on this link http://www.facebook.com/pages/Tori-Wigs/271415749046 and

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-79552946228507507162011-05-20T10:59:00.008-04:002011-05-20T11:54:12.745-04:00

Last night I dreamed I got engaged and went to an Overeaters Anonymous meeting with my fiancé, a friend from high school whom I'd gotten together with. Not necessarily in that order. And in real life this would be impossible, because he's already married. We never dated in high school, and we aren't particularly close now. But in the dream I sought him out because I thought I'd be able to get him

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-55020153055641887332011-05-11T17:49:00.000-04:002011-05-13T16:26:37.522-04:00

Poisoned food is of no comfort to a starving person. Problem is, sometimes it's hard to see what is poison and what is just unappetizing. I got a connection request today from a "Trcuk driver" on plentyoffish.com. A high school graduate. Needless to say, I wasn't interested. Then I got an email from a very sweet shadchanit who lives in France. Let's call her Balabouste. She wrote: Hi! Could

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-36940098759081298862011-05-01T11:01:00.053-04:002011-05-01T11:34:24.506-04:00

A few weeks ago, I had a really terrible conversation with my mother about my past. To wit: her live-in boyfriend, who, while I was a teenager, left pornography all around the house. Which I consumed voraciously. My sexual activity and appetite have been insatiable for as long as I can remember. I don't know if this pre- or post-dated the porn. It's definitely led me to get too physical too

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-89953912408172897122011-04-27T15:08:00.000-04:002011-04-27T15:08:21.404-04:00

I had a very low-key Passover. Polar opposite of last year, which I spent with Ivan the Terrible pretending that someday he'd make me a stepmother. So this year, I went to one seder, and spent the rest of the time reflecting. One of the things I thought about was work. What went wrong at my last job, and how I need to change to prevent those things from happening again. I knew that some people

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-30191582447069445072011-04-14T21:21:00.000-04:002011-04-14T21:21:16.998-04:00

I've been on four job interviews this week -- two today; I spent hours on the subway going to Brooklyn and Queens -- and I have another tomorrow. Three of those jobs were mine for the asking. One job paid nothing: it's a substance abuse treatment facility using a medical model (including outpatient detox), and I suspect that the nurses aren't offered a pittance for their services. The

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-42915060164321889002011-04-07T22:42:00.000-04:002011-04-07T22:42:38.640-04:00

The Great Invalidator (TGI) was my FaceBook friend. We met sometime last November and had the following conversation: TGI: What do u do for work?Ayelet: clinical social workTGI: If my ex keeps acting like a bitch I may need your services!!!!!! Charming. But many men complain about their ex-wives. A: I'm not a magician ;) Divorce is tough. I work in substance abuse.TGI: I'm happily remarried -

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-7948265422483978492011-04-07T08:48:00.000-04:002011-04-07T08:48:25.376-04:00

I've been advised to keep an open mind when dating, and not to judge people too quickly. So when an out-of-towner emailed me on Jwed, even though I hadn't liked his profile before, I decided to rejoin and get to know him. This may have been too open. After saying he'd call Monday and Tuesday nights, and not calling because he "wasn't feeling well" (how difficult is it to make a phone call if you

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-63877209559037303132011-03-23T22:02:00.000-04:002011-03-23T22:02:28.725-04:00

I haven't posted much about my mindfulness-based cognitive therapy, because it's more emotional than intellectual; less about acquiring knowledge and more about the process. But I summarized the process today with my therapist. Basically, mindfulness allows you to regain your emotional balance and cope with an upsetting or angering situation. It doesn't change the situation, just helps you cope

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-65479714194601807512011-03-23T20:00:00.000-04:002011-03-23T20:00:33.473-04:00

So far, eHarmony has yielded just one real correspondence that led to a phone conversation. Two conversations, actually, so far. He's a 43yo computer guy who lives in the Midwest. Thinks talking to me is more entertaining than "a barrel of monkeys" because we talked about South American literature and other intellectual subjects. Recommended I read "Liar's Poker" for its wonderful prose. Told me

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-20659960582244580872011-03-21T12:43:00.000-04:002011-03-21T12:43:52.178-04:00

Apparently a lot has been going on behind my back. To be more precise, on my back. The pain in my ass is an abscess, which the doctor injected with cortisone (OUCH!). I also have a scar on my shoulder from a healed abscess that received another cortisone injection (ouch), and a mole at the top of my ass crack that's "atypical." How could Ayelet have a typical mole? It's been there for years, but

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-6063896678159043652011-03-20T18:55:00.000-04:002011-03-20T18:55:00.848-04:00

At first I thought it was just a boil -- a raised and painful but closed sore. Then it started... stretching a little. I revised my diagnosis to cellulitis after Googling my symptoms and trying to look at my behind in the mirror. Since I'm not a gymnast, that was very difficult. It's embarrassing because, as I read, cellulitis can be caused by poor hygiene and poor circulation. I have to admit,

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-68305685081322925562011-03-15T17:02:00.000-04:002011-03-15T17:02:03.102-04:00

Last you all heard, I sent a breezy email to Dr. Pilot telling him I'd recently lost my grandmother and didn't have any big weekend plans. He responded: I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. I lost my last surviving grandparent (my maternal grandfather) a few years ago. Its horrible. I can understand your wanting to take it easy. I totally get what you say about getting fresh fruit from

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-80919791966813940512011-03-12T22:15:00.000-05:002011-03-12T22:15:04.436-05:00

Sitting at home on a Saturday night is pretty lame. I shouldn't compound it by surfing dating websites. But I went on SuperTova and saw a 41yo online who seemed nice. So I sent him an IM, and because he responded, I thought he might be interested in me. Ayelet: hiDouble Standard Douchebag: shavuah tovA: shavua tovDSD: are you from n.y.?A: I've lived here for a while, grew up upstateyour

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-22241536256766211662011-03-10T11:48:00.000-05:002011-03-10T11:48:57.822-05:00

Props to Gloria Chang, who sent me the following note: I'd be honest without going into a lot of detail. You might write, for example, "I'm actually in mourning for my grandmother right now, so I'm planning to (go to a museum, stroll in the park, something quiet, whatever)." Then do it. I'd also briefly describe going on job interviews. He doesn't need to know all the details of that either.

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-31989475261430956332011-03-10T09:57:00.001-05:002011-03-10T10:01:33.625-05:00

So eHarmony has introduced me to a number of men. I've been corresponding with several. But there's only one I'm really interested in: Dr. Pilot. I don't know what kind of doctor he is, but I do know what he's passionate about, because eHarmony asks you to write "the one thing I'm most passionate about": I'm very passionate about flying...I've had my private pilot's license for over 7 years and

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-43739114520490235412011-03-08T21:31:00.000-05:002011-03-08T21:31:30.882-05:00

Sounds strange that a blogger with so much crap happening in her life would have nothing to say. But this grief, this whole process feels too private to write about. Also, much of it involves my family, and none of them want to be blogged. The non-private stuff? Two job interviews, one today, one tomorrow. Increase in COBRA premiums. eHarmony conversations. I just don't feel like blogging. Maybe

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-10346460194548619112011-03-03T18:00:00.000-05:002011-03-03T18:00:20.351-05:00

My grandmother passed away this morning. I found out after going on what I think was a very good job interview. I'm going home for the funeral and will be offline for a while. Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32079903.post-8469036502542861682011-03-02T17:40:00.001-05:002011-03-02T17:44:31.787-05:00

Last night my mother called to tell me my grandmother is dying. She's been dying in slow motion for years, but apparently the end is now close. Neither mom nor I think it makes sense for me to go see Grandma; she won't recognize me. I thought I was okay. But I wasn't. And I scared a bunch of friends with some twitter posts: Grandma is dying. I'm sad we're losing her, sadder that her last years

Ayelet Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02277580932405601737noreply@blogger.com4